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He celebrates the welcoming attitudes from the rural community he lives near in Cornwall, and how conversations with the musician Skin from Skunk Anansie have made him realise that “giving people a minute” may help with them if they’re displaying a lack of understanding or open-mindedness. “We never did find out who’d written it,” he adds.”īut more recent moments offer hope. Days before the Pop Idol final, Young also recounts discovering the word “FAGGOTS”, scrawled in chalk, near where the contestants were preparing to go on stage and demanding a towel to wash it away. It’s shocking how Chris Moyles got away with a homophobic impression of Young on primetime Radio 1 in 2009. Many revelations, however, are anger-inducing. “I chose not to share this information with Rupert Graves, which, I think, was probably for the best,” he says.
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Years later, they recorded a radio play together. He recalls a scene from A Room With a View featuring a naked Rupert Graves that he would watch, frame by frame, covertly as a teenager. He recalls finding gay porn online at home in the 1990s (“I’d have to put a towel over the router because it would make a noise like a fax machine… I cannot explain to you how excruciating those 30 seconds were”). His style is sweetly curious and he colours his vulnerabilities with humour. Young writes with the likable fizz he’s kept revealing throughout his successful pop career (his latest album, 2019’s Lexicon, got to No 2 in the charts), and on the podcast he co-hosted, Homo Sapiens. It’s interesting to me now how this had already started to become a hugely internalised thinking process.” “I was clearly, as a young boy, meant to be attracted to his wife. At eight, he realises he fancies Bobby Ewing on Dallas. The book begins in early childhood, when Young learned quickly he didn’t conform to the “usual gender norms”. The first chapter’s first line says it all: “Imagine being born into a world where, from the beginning, your true nature is under attack and ridiculed from the second you enter life.” As you read, you realise what a tough subject that must have been to approach, as well as to explore. To Be a Gay Man is a book about gay shame, Young explains, in his chatty introduction, and his journey to try and rid himself of it. This allowed me to see that a gay man could be accepted as a person not some kind of monster.” “His being gay was not always the main topic of conversation. “Suddenly, I didn’t feel so alone,” Young writes. Dowling’s win was also a big thing for Young. It was a landmark revelation at the time, coming only six months after the openly gay Brian Dowling had won Big Brother pop culture was vital in changing attitudes to homosexuality in the early 2000s. “Those fuckers must have been furious,” he adds, with palpable pleasure. But the Mail on Sunday didn’t succeed: Young spoke out on his own terms to the News of the World, a day before the other paper’s “scoop”. These were the horrendous conundrums people in his position had to deal with then. 'Imagine being born into a world where, from the beginning, your true nature is under attack'